Our lessons for living the Gypsy lifestyle

So now that the rush of moving and holidays is over, and we have settled (not so) comfortably into our new Gypsy lifestyle, we thought we'd share a few things we have learned so far.  It starts with things that might be more useful to our military friends, during a PCS, but since we are all giving input, there will be some that will apply to all kinds of people.  So in no particular order, here they are.  The Kotara's essential Gypsy lessons:

#1. Drinking glasses might just be more elusive than socks.  You just don't mate them up as often.  As we're packing up the house (or more specifically, as the moving company is packing up), I pull out the original packaging for a bunch of our stuff (being military, we EXPECT to be moving, so we always try to keep the factory boxes for anything fragile, or expensive in the hopes it will protect it better).  So we pull our glasses down, and we have a box for 16 glasses.  8 tumblers, and 8 juice glasses.  Just like we bought 3 years ago.  So I start putting them in the factory divided cardboard, and realize the short slots only have 6 juice glasses.  "No biggie", I say.  "We have kids, they must have broken a few."  I keep packing (and here's where it gets really weird.... We have 8 tumblers filled, and one still on the counter.  Did we buy them mismatched?  Not a chance, because they WILL. NOT.  FIT.  So if any of our friends have these glasses, and you find you are short a tumbler, and heavy 2 juice glasses, please let us know.  We probably won't bother to trade, but it might ease our sleep at night, because even now, 3 weeks later, this still bugs me.  (And if you want to know what being a Gypsy feels like, as we typed this, and looked for a picture, neither Alicia or I could even remember what our drinking glasses look like)

#2.  The English language is not a set of hard fast rules, so much as an amorphous conglomeration of phonetic sounds.  At least according to our movers.  I never would have thought that we had 3 "gurls" or that I could kept my lawn tools in the "Go Raj".  But I have proof that we do.

#3. You CAN fit 5 people in a full size motel bed.  But I think it might only be possible on your last night in a town, and after all your good byes, and even then only if all of them are crying.  Oh, and if you need help squeezing them all in, pick up two pints of Ben and Jerry's Rabbit Tracks and Chunky Monkey and some plastic spoons.  Somehow I see this being something that will stick with our girls as they grow up.  Ice cream can make all sorts of things better.  Or at least more bearable.

#4. Plastic spoons DO NOT work to eat hard frozen ice cream out of a pint container.  But it provides for some entertaining attempts, and isn't laughter the best medicine anyway?

#5.  Taking little ones out of their comfort zone and everyday environment will show you just how their thought processes work.  We were not 2 days out of our home, when the following conversation was yelled back and forth through a hotel bathroom door:

 

Bella: Mom! What shampoo am I supposed to use?
Me: The shampoo that I put in there...
Bella: I can't find it!
Me: What do you mean you can't find it? It's the only bottle in there.
Bella: But it says for long hair, and I don't have long hair!

Apparently since their bathroom has only ever possessed a wall mounted dispenser of whatever we put in there, this was an intellectual dilemma that she had never had to face.

    

#6.  DLA (Dislocation allowance) was NOT determined by a woman.  At least not according to Alicia.  I understand moving can be difficult, and there are certain expenses that are incurred when you move, that are not associated with the move itself.  This is what DLA is supposed to be for.  To restock the fridge shelf with ketchup/ranch/mustard/etc.  We managed to confirm with our shipper that dry spices were okay, so that helped, but it wasn't until the last day of moving, in our final shipment, which was household goods to go to Japan, that I heard Alicia audibly distraught that she was going to have to throw out 60+ bottles of lotions, face creams, nail polishes, make up, and all the other beauty products that she feels must be necessary to keep her as gorgeous as I see her every day.  And from the cussing in the bathroom as she went through her cabinet at the request of the movers, I'm guessing the $2,600 they give to "rebuild" your home after a move will not cover that.

#7. American drivers are idiots.  In our first 2,000 miles from NC to TX, I witnessed at least 6 near-miss accidents, all of which I could immediately attribute to cell phones.  Every single one of them I had just witnessed passing me while texting or witnessed them just seconds after, still on their phone  (Please, people, put the phones down, and drive.  It can't be THAT important to do RIGHT now, especially if you are choosing to text it, rather than just call).  And this did not include the over 100 people I saw swerving lanes while texting over the two days, or the idiot watching a movie on his tablet, held to the steering wheel with his thumbs, while doing 80mph on I-10.  However, I further reiterated the cathartic nature of a few coins chunked out the window at a car, when he pulled up next to me, pissed off that he had almost rear ended ME, as he devastated my soul with a middle finger reached all the way across his passenger seat.  Hope you enjoy your new paint job to fill the chips, buddy.

#8.   Road rage is a real phenomenon.  And sun roofs can be fun when combined with a pissed off aggresive driver and a fistful of pennies.

#9.  One of the coolest gas stations in the country is in Louisiana.  As we drove through Baton Rouge, I stuck to my habit of driving through the metropolitan area, to get gas on the far side.  It tends to make the on/off of the highway a little faster.  But Baton Rouge doesn't have any gas stations on the westward outskirts.  It has swamps, and a "next exit 14 miles" sign.  so after a quick conference with the low gas light in the van, I decided I could make 14 miles.  Unfortunately the exit at 14 miles, had a small 4 pump station, and

about 25 vehicles.  And no drivers.  Because apparently everyone has to go in, and pay cash in advance.  And then pump.  And then go get their change.  and THEN get in their car and drive away.  So after waiting about 15 minutes, I decide I can do better, and consult the Garmin, to find a gas station 3/4 of a mile away.  Which takes 3 attempts at pulling in, before finding a nozzle that isn't covered in a grocery bag.  So FINALLY pumping gas, the girls disappear into a little smoke smelling shack, full of every conceivable form of gator paraphernalia.  We're talking teeth, heads, necklaces from the Liz Cavalier Collection, gator skull lighters, you name it.  Cool points #1.  But after we finish, and begin to pull out, I see a fence across the parking lot that looks like a purple and yellow maximum security facility for midgets.  Jackpot!  We HAVE to see what this is.  Turns out, the Tiger Stop Station in Grosse Tete, LA has LIVE tigers!  I guess it started years ago, something to do with the home of the LSU mascot.  I don't remember all the details, but somehow, this small gas station in rural LA has had 13 tigers born in captivity (10 of which survived).  I honestly think that is probably better success rates than most American zoos.  Who'da thunkit?  Needless to say we HAD to get a photo.  For legal reasons, I will leave out the photo of me with the little one, screaming in terror as I swung her upwards towards the actual Bengal on the platform.

#10.  If you time it right, you can eat 6 consecutive meals in 6 different states.  We picked the girls up from school on our last day, where they had eaten lunch in NC, to get on the road, and have dinner in SC.  After spending the night in Atlanta, we had breakfast in GA, lunch in AL, and dinner in LA.  After a slumber party with cousins in College Station, we took the girls to breakfast in TX, complete with Aggie pancakes and breakfast tacos, before taking the girls for a tour on campus.

#11.  THE coolest gas station in the country is in Texas, however.  We have always made a point on the way down, to stop in Luling at Buc-ee's.  We were bummed to realize that because of our detour through College Station, and the new toll roads, it would not be practical to go that route this time.  But fortune favored us yet again, and as fate would have it, there was a brand new Buc-ee's just opened that week in Bastrop.  Unfortunately, we didn't need gas, seeing as it was $2.82 for grand opening week.  But that still didn't prevent us from stopping, and spending over 45 minutes roaming and excitedly exclaiming in delight at everything we took in.  After wandering around enjoying Dippin Dots, loading up on dried fruits (cantaloupe, peaches and pineapple), picking out our annual Christmas ornament for 2012, HAVING to have a Dr Pepper Icee (you heard that right, nectar of the gods), finding a sampler of 24 different fudge flavors, and a few other "oh my god how did I ever live without this" trinkets, we checked out, with a bill just under $100.  Thats right folks, I spent the most I have EVER spent at a gas station, and it didn't even include gas.  In hindsight, it would have topped a Benjamin if we hadn't forgotten the bag of Beaver Nuggets we stopped for, in all the excitement.  If you've never been to a Buc-ee's, I highly recommend you stop by.  It's a life changing experience.  I promise.

Okay, so it's getting late, and we're done with our notes up through about December 10th.  We promise we'll get to the rest of our lessons soon (they happen to include firearms, zombies, and artificial intelligence, so it should be great!).  Until then, we wish you all happy holidays, and hope that Santa brought you all that you wished for.  And $10 to anyone who can correctly identify our current location.  But be quick, for a gypsy is never satisfied with here, and is prone to roam....  Until next time.  Adios muchachos!